House Project #2

Funky Kitchen

Year of Eastwood #36

Kelly's Heroes (1970)

Starring: Eastwood, Telly Savalas,
Don Rickles, Donald Sutherland
Directed by Brian Hutton

And now for something completely different. The last few Eastwood flicks have been a big load of downers … Costner gets shot, Bird likes the smack, Clint has the TB. So, it’s time for a little escapism - classic Hollywood style. Feels like Year of Eastwood could use some ‘splosions and hi-jinks … time for some Kelly’s Heroes.

I imagine Clint decided he needed a bit of fun as well. He was making several movies a year and, as has been discussed, most of those westerns involved Clint getting some variation of horse-collared before he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and kicked some ass. Clint just kinda glides thru Kelly’s Heroes as the instigator of a scheme to steal a bunch of inanimate gold bars from the re-treating German army near the close of WWII.

But he can’t do it alone. So who better to join him than a bunch of TV stars that probably worked really cheap. Kojak yells a lot and Archie Bunker plays a bumbling General. I’m not sure if Don Rickles was a TV star … actually not sure why he’s famous at all … but he’s along for the ride as the wise-cracking company clerk. After all, Clint was a TV star his own self, so I’m sure he was helpful in getting these guys their big break into the movies.

Kelly’s plot is pretty flimsy, but that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to have some fun. There’s lots of things blowing up and Nazi slapstick (hey, the Nazi’s are always reliable for a good laugh). And what the heck, might as well throw in Sutherland as the original Hippie. Or, at least, I assume he’s the original hippie, because I don’t know how many long-haired, pot-heads there were driving Sherman tanks around in the 1940’s - but in this movie, anything's possible.

Actually, watching Kelly’s Heroes now, the film kinda suffers from what I’ll call the Saving Private Ryan effect. When Speilberg made that film, he created such an effective sense of what WWII was probably like that watching any war films now, it’s difficult not to think of the intensity of those opening scenes storming Omaha beach.

Clint tries to keep his heist quiet. But when tons of gold is involved, it’s hard to keep it a secret. So by the final scenes, the film becomes a Mad, Mad World dash to the treasure. In the end, the “good” guys get in, take the gold, and - I’m sure - found some way to smuggle all that gold out in their duffle bags.

Year of Eastwood #35

Honkytonk Man (1982)

Starring: Eastwood, Kyle Eastwood
Directed by Eastwood

Clint reached a point in his career in the 80’s that he could get just about any movie made that he wanted. It didn’t matter if there wasn’t much of a script with Clint involved it was going to make some money.

Case in point, Honkytonk Man. I imagine the pitch went something like … a down and out Country singer gets his shot at the Opry - and some stuff happens - and then, why not, he gets real sick in the end. Oh yea, and Clint is going to sing in the movie. And just further his point, Clint puts his own son in the movie.

Honkytonk Man opens up in some dust bowl and it’s feeling like a twister moving in. Clint makes his big entrance as he crashes his fancy car thru the family farm. Not sure if he’s sick or really drunk or both. After moping around for a few days, Clint’s sister decides the only smart thing to do is let her young son go along with Clint to the Opry, just to make sure he gets there safe. And might as well let grandpa go along as well, you know, just for kicks.

It’s a dirt road trip! Shenanigans ensue as the guys travel from town to town - drinking, smoking, and playing in juke joints. Grandpa isn’t quite as much fun as everybody thought he’d be - so let's get rid of him. Enter a loopy young gal who’s got her eyes set on Clint and a career in Nashville … but Clint ain’t interested and the gal can’t sing. Clint helps get the young boy laid … a fact that I’m sure has followed Clint’s son around his whole life. Every now and then Clint coughs up a fit.

Now, a general rule is that I try not to criticize young actors, because I’m sure the whole experience of making a movie is pretty overwhelming … so I’ll just say that Kyle’s acting coach on the set of Honkytonk Man was none other than Sondra Locke.

Clint, on the other hand, is a grown man - so I’m sure he can take some criticism. Don’t make a movie about an undiscovered musical talent when the man can’t sing. Clint sort of whisper-sings (see Paint Yer Wagon) and we’re supposed to believe that audiences are captivated by his every note. Plus, Clint surrounds himself with some of the greats of C&W, but ... hey, let’s let Ringo sing the songs.

Clint finally makes it to his Opry audition. Of course, the room is a hush as the Opry hasn’t seen a talent like this in a long time, but Clint gets sick. Some fancy record producer hears the audition and wants to make some Clint records because the people need to hear this music.

The whole movie feels like they were just winging it. Just roll film, Clint will come up with something. So this guy drives this pickup and he’s got an ornery orangutan with him. Or he has to sneak into Russia to steal a jet that shoots mind missiles. OK people, it’s a wrap … print it.

Year of Eastwood #34

Bird (1988)

Starring: Forest Whitaker

Directed by Eastwood

Clint likes the jazz. Composer, aficionado, musician. So it’s only natural that he would tackle the genre in a bio pic. Loosely-based biographies of musicians have always done well … Coal Miner’s Daughter, Ray, Walk the Line … all have gone on to Oscar glory. So which jazz legend should Clint’s movie be about? Maybe Dizzy. Maybe Coltrane. But Clint had once seen Charlie Parker perform in 1945 so he decided to focus on Parker. A sax player better know as the Yardbird.

The Bird likes the smack. Which really shouldn’t be much of a surprise since most of these bio pics include some addiction that the star must battle as they rise in popularity. The Bird only reached a certain amount of fame while he was living, but he sure did like the crank. It didn’t do much good for his liver condition - but that’s what the blues is all about. He also has to overcome the death of his young daughter. Which he should have thought about when he was shooting up the junk. Eventually, he gives up the stuff - instead just drinking perfectly-legal alcohol … but by then his liver had had enough. But the dude sure liked the H. (I really don’t know what I’m talking about anymore … I had to look up some slang on the internets.)

Forest Whitaker portrays the Bird with his usual oafish charm which adds to the sense that Parker had all the talent to be a superstar, but was maybe lacking the charisma to be as successful as some of his contemporaries. Like a fine artist, Bird’s music has come to be more appreciated after his death. The film follows Bird’s career as he plays jazz clubs during a time when the style of music was considered scandalous.

The film opens with Bird jamming to a little ditty called Lester Leaps In. Which was the topic of an interpretation for my first studio in Architecture. I must have listened to that clip of music a hundred times, trying to pull some kind of form out of the composition. I’m not sure that I would actually recognize any other jazz music, so it was great to be able to re-visit those memories.
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I figure sooner or later there will be a bio-pic for just about every celebrity out there. It’s a lot easier to watch a movie to learn about somebody than having to look it up on Wikipedia. Still, I’m not really looking forward to watching the Bobcat Goldthwait story.

Clint directs Bird with a reverence for the music and artist that comes across in the film. Throwing in a few artsy-fartsy touches like the shot of a flying cymbol crashing to the ground. Not really sure why it was a cymbol … guess a saxamophone would have made more of a clunking sound.

House Project #1

Re-buffed, Re-sanded and Re-jected

Well, first up for the many tasks I hope to accomplish with the new house was to refinish the wood floors in the two bedrooms, living/dining area, and the kitchen. I did my share of research on the subject, got some insightful advice from many, and decided I was pretty confident this was something I could accomplish.

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Some before pics ...

Everyone I spoke to that has refinished their floors said they did it once ... wouldn't ever do it again ... but they did get it done, once. Well, I learned my lesson...

First up, I rented an oscillating sander that was supposed to be more user friendly than it's bigger brother the belt sander. If you ever find yourself in a place where you might want to refinish your own floors, I can tell you ... go with the belt sander. I must have gone over that living/dining area 8-10 times and still didn't seem to get all of the old finish off.

I was warned not to leave that sander stationary or it would gouge a groove right into the floor. I tell you, I could have left that sander running, gone out for an iced cream, and come back and that thing would still be sitting there shaking in the same spot.

Next up was the edges and corners with the handheld sander. Not much to say about that thing except the whole thing is a misnomer.

The cleaning/staining went much better and I was encouraged with the progress at the end of many hard days work - that everything might turn out pretty good.

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Sorry about the spots. I think my camera was still dusty from the sanding ...

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I waited the appropriate drying time and set to apply the water-based polyurethine finish. That was somewhat tricky to make sure to overlap the finish and apply all areas evenly. The next day, I was disappointed to see that the impressive stain had lightened quite a bit and all the flaws that concerned me were there plain as day. I followed thru and applied the other coats, but the end product just hasn't turned out as I hoped.

Well, after the big move, I was so disappointed with the floors that I decided to try lightly sanding once more and applying one more coat of the finish. I was pleased with the results, as this coat seemed to go on much more smoothly and after it dried, I would say the end result was 90% better than before. Moms seem to have all the answers and mine suggested that maybe I was applying the finish when it was too cold outside. I think she was right. Well, I am relieved.

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Year of Eastwood #33

a Perfect World (1993)

Starring: Kevin Costner, Eastwood
Directed by Eastwood

Have you visited the Ebert and Roeper website? They have catalogued movie reviews for the last 20 years, and for movie geeks (like myself) it is a gold mine of cinematic fodder. It is really interesting to watch reviews of films and compare the duo’s initial reaction to the longevity of certain films. I’ve spent more than a few moments revisiting reviews of Clint’s films and am surprised at times by their reactions. For one thing, both Siskel and Ebert gave Unforgiven thumbs-down. Pretty shocking. They generally like all of the Dirty Harry sequels and another one of their favorites was a Perfect World, a film that bombed at the box office in the early 90’s.



Perfect World was Clint’s follow-up to his Oscar-winning Unforgiven. Clint teamed up with, arguably, the biggest movie star in the world - Kevin Costner. Costner had starred in blockbusters like The Untouchables and Field of Dreams - and he had even collected his own windfall of Academy Awards with Dances with Wolves. Clint seemed to have caught Kevin at the perfect time … it was still a few years until Waterworld and The Postman pretty much sank Costner for good. Reportedly, Clint only intended to direct the film, but Costner would only sign on if Clint agreed to act in the film as well.

Perfect World re-visits the Alcatraz escape, but this time it’s Kevin busting out of the slammer. Just so we know that Kevin is really a good guy, he escapes with a lunk-head who likes to beat up and/or grope everyone he comes across on the outside. These said wandering hands get the duo cornered as lunk-head has lustful intentions on a young mother - and the guys have to take a little boy hostage in order to make their getaway. Turns out the kid is a Jehovah’s Witness and has been denied all the usual childhood pleasures, such as cotton candy, cuss words, and Casper the Friendly Ghost costumes. What’s up with those JW’s? Both Prince and Michael Jackson have become devout followers … and look where they are now. To get the lunk-head out of the way, Kevin puts a bullet in his head after he gets a little too grabby with the boy.

Enter Clint, Texas Ranger, hot on the trail of the escaped convicts. Clint is mostly there for comic relief as he rambles around in a decked-out airstream trailer. Laura Dern is along for the ride as the by-the-book criminologist. They trade barbs as Dern questions Clint’s tactics in tracking down the escaped convicts. Clint’s in his serious, man-hunting mode and he ain’t got time for this chick and her fancy talking. I’m sure if they hadn’t crashed the trailer, Clint and her would have been making out in no time. Hey, that’s just the way the Clintster operates.

Clint has had his share of blockbusters, and also quite a few clunkers as well. There’s also a side category of Clint films that despite their poor reception have gone on to garner a cult following: Eiger Sanction and Paint Yer Wagon (to name a couple). Perfect World somewhat falls into that category because quite a few people praise the film as an under-rated gem (including Mr. Siskel and Mr. Ebert). Actually, the film doesn’t hold up too well in the canon of Clint’s best. The bond between the boy and Costner just doesn’t connect and there just isn’t enough development in the story to really be concerned about the final scenes of the film. It really isn’t surprising that the public’s reaction to Perfect World was a collective meh at the time, we had other things on our minds … like Prince changing his name to a symbol and all that concern if Michael Jackson would ever find the right woman.