Year of Eastwood #52

Any Which Way You Can (1980)

Starring: Eastwood, et al
Directed by Buddy Van Horn

The first rule of Fight Club … long before Edward Norton made up that world of soap and underground fist fighting, Clint lived it. Making scratch by fighting thugs until one ends up a bloody heap on the asphalt, then drinking away all the winnings at the local honky-tonk. No existential meaning necessary.

Year of Eastwood kicked things off with Every Which Way But Loose. A film that at first looks pretty flimsy. But underneath the monkey jokes and crappy music, there’s a story of an average guy struggling just to put a little Devild Ham brand meat-substance on the table. He probably drinks too much to forget his woman troubles and although right now he’s successful at these - what I assume would be illegal - organized brawls, Clint knows that one of these days he’s going to run into someone bigger, faster, and stronger than he is.

Well fifty-one movies later, not much has changed for Clint in Any Which Way You Can. He’s still fighting and drinking and trying to get Clyde laid. Yep, after a long negotiation period, Clyde the orangutan agreed to appear in the sequel. There was a long list of demands. Clyde wanted his own screen time … an odd musical tribute to Clyde swinging around on a tire swing. He gets to crap in some cop cars and, like all A-list celebrities at the time, he gets to bust up a hotel room to impress what I can only assume is an orangutan prostitute.

The rest of the gang is back as well. Ruth Gordon as the foul mouthed old lady. She doesn’t really have much to do in the sequel. Just run around complaining about Clyde, that damn hairy-assed banana head (which I believe was in the original script for Planet of the Apes). Then she disappears about half-way into the film … not really sure why.

The biker gang is back as well as the lunk-head cops. The Nazis didn’t make the final cut in this one. Guess they had things to do. And, of course, due to overwhelming popular demand - Sondra Locke returns once again as the talent-less country singer who broke Clint’s heart in the first film. Within a few scenes of the sequel … and a couple of crappy Sondra songs … she’s back in Clint’s bed. No one can resist that Sondra charm.

Clint’s never been much of the romantic lead type. He’s an action hero and more of a love ‘em and leave ‘em type. In Every Which Way, he was just an average Joe Six-Pack who didn’t get the girl in the end (so long, Sarah Palin). To just push that aside just to put Clint’s girlfriend in another movie ruins the appeal of the first film that even Hollywood movies don’t always have the happy ending. I have no problem with Clint cashing in on a retread of a successful first film, but this fact just makes the second film feel totally unnecessary.

I hate to end this blog on such a negative note, so here’s some more stuff about Clyde… He gets to tear up a couple of cars in the movie. Little known fact, Clyde was the inspiration for the TV series, Alf, but he always maintained that he never ate no cats.

So Clyde’s career pretty much came to an end with Any Which Way, but he did get in on some of that Clint one-liner action. Right turn, Clyde. Which I still use to this day whenever I‘m bustin' up some wiseacre at the local pub.

I’m choosing to ignore the fact that in the sequel, Clyde was played by a different monkey.

Year of Eastwood #51

...Et Pour Quelques Dollars de Plus (1965)

Starring: Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef
Directed by Sergio Leone

It’s clean up time. After topping 50 movies and TV programs, Year of Eastwood has just about wiped out the entire Clint library. The classics have been included (Dirty Harry), along with the Academy Award winners (Unforgiven), the forgotten (Breezy), and the clunkers (Pink Cadillac). That doesn’t leave too many options left for the final two entries of Year of Eastwood.

Earlier in this series, a slew of westerns were covered. Burnout was definitely a factor while watching ten of Clint’s westerns … and too be honest, two of the Spaghetti Westerns seemed like enough so I probably wasn’t missing much if I skipped For a Few Dollars More. Plus, I had to fit Paint Yer Wagon in there...

The classic - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly - was truly a master of film making. The infliction of humor with the gripping story of greed in the Wild West - along with a musical score for the ages - ranks this film as one of the greatest westerns ever made.

The original film in the series, Fistful of Dollars, introduced American audiences to the Spaghetti Western genre. Gritty, bloody scenes tell this story of the lawless West where there’s nary a good guy in sight. So what did the second film in this trilogy have to offer…

Not much new here. Clint is a bounty hunter, riding around in search of his next payday. Van Cleef is a rival bounty hunter as they cross paths hunting down a pack of outlaws which will pay off in upwards of $40k. These days, $40k won’t even get Paris Hilton to show up at your nightclub.

Eventually, the rivals team up to take down the gang ... wanted dead or alive - which pretty much means dead. Turns out Van Cleef has more personal reasons for wanting to take down the head gringo, so once again Clint rides off with the entire bounty.

The most intriguing aspect when observing this trilogy as a whole is that the films are not really a trilogy at all. Sure Clint is the mysterious stranger, who may or may not in fact have a name. But it’s not even clear if he’s playing the same character between all films. In fact, a few actors appear in the films portraying different characters. The films don’t seem to align chronologically, as the third film apparently takes place before the first film. Or is it that the second film takes place after the third film? I'm confused.

The films play out more like fables from the Old West. The players may be interchangeable - riding along the dusty trails - but it doesn’t matter who they are. It’s more about the stories that made the West so appealing and dangerous. The wide open plains, the opportunity for wealth … the lawlessness, the greed, and the gunfights.

For a Few Dollars More stands alone as an entertaining film, but fails in comparison to the best of the series and still champion … the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. A recent study concluded that certain films, such as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, have been scientifically proven to increase brain activity. My own personal study indicates that Pink Cadillac in fact destroyed some brain cells. Brain cells that I might need as I get older. Thanks a lot Bernadette Peters.

Week at the Farm

Year of Eastwood #50

Letters from Iwo Jima (2006)

Starring: Ken Watanabe
Directed by Eastwood

In what will probably be remembered as one of Clint’s most intriguing (perhaps controversial) projects, he followed up Flags of Our Fathers with Letters from Iwo Jima.

The film presents the other side of World War II, from the perspective of the Japanese soldiers, stationed on the island with virtually no prospect of returning to their homeland alive. The movie was based upon actual letters written by the soldiers to their loved ones, knowing many of them would not be received before their death.

The film presents an interesting look into a different culture and the pride and traditions of an army that was considered an evil empire. Obviously, the men on both sides of the battle fronts weren‘t that different from one another. They both were fighting bravely for their countries and both had families back home that they desperately wanted to return to see again.

It was a risky proposition for Clint to take on a film about the Japanese struggle against the U.S. One that I’m sure would shock many Clint fans in the 70‘s with his stubborn, gun-blazing attitude, but Clint wanted to portray the another side of the story. While our brave soldiers were battling to raise that American flag atop the island, there were men battling for their own purpose.

There have been many Japanese films made about World War II, but like many others, my exposure to Asian films has been very limited. By directing this film, Clint exposed millions of Americans to the lives that were also destroyed by this conflict. Lives that may be formed on a tradition much different than ours, but similar in many other aspects.

The Japanese soldiers were exhausted and would question the decisions of their superiors much the same any of us would. The soldiers had been fed misconceptions about their enemy, just as American soldiers were. And these soldiers were committed to fighting with honor and valor, just as our troops have been trained to do.

Of course, the honor and tradition involves aspects that we can’t quite understand - like the whole kamikaze nonsense. Soldiers willing to take their own lives in an act of pride. A concept that confused our nation once again after the terrorist attacks on 9/11. As the battle surged on, many Japanese soldiers took orders to kill themselves in the face of defeat. Some of them chose not to, instead falling back with their other soldiers to continue the fight.

Letters from Iwo Jima received multiple Academy Award nominations, including the fourth for Clint as director. There was concern over Clint, or any American, telling the story of an enemy in battle, but the film went on to be a huge success in Japan. Unfortunately, the film was unable to garner as much attention in the U.S.

Year of Eastwood #49

Flags of Our Fathers (2006)

Starring: Ryan Phillippe, Jesse Bradford
Directed by Eastwood

Clint wants to set the record straight with Flags of Our Fathers. That iconic image you see of the brave U.S. soldiers raising the American flag atop the treacherous terrain of the desolate Japanese island is a big lie.

Not that these heroes didn’t fight an intense, bloody battle to seize control in the war against the Japanese. No, Clint goes to detailed lengths to demonstrate the struggle, and the Americans lost many lives in order to put an end to the great World War, but that photo doesn’t tell the whole story.

Back home, the U.S. was struggling to finance the war. The country had just begun recovering from the Great Depression when the U.S. was pulled into World War II when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. After years of struggle, American forces had finally pushed back Nazi forces in the battle over in Europe. But the troops were exhausted and the money was running out. The photo that came out of Iwo Jima of the troops raising the flag was seen as a golden opportunity to increase morale of the country and encourage it’s citizens to reach deeper into it’s pockets to invest in the campaign.

As the image began to circulate back home, the government decided what was needed was for some of these brave soldiers to come back and make personal appearances in the states to encourage patriotic Americans to buy more bonds. But as anyone who has examined the photo can tell you, it’s not easy to identify any of the actual faces in the photo. Add to that, many of the soldiers in the photo had been killed later during the ongoing conflict. Then questions began to surface about the validity of the actual photo.

So here’s the rest of the story, Mr. Harvey … there was an initial surge to the top of the hill and the men indeed raised a flag at the top which signaled to the other troops that victory was within reach. Pictures were taken of the events. But in a fine example of military intelligence, an officer ordered that the flag be recovered for his own collection and replaced with a second flag. So when later troops scaled the mountain and reached the peek, the orders were followed and another flag was put in its place. Once again, the photographer recorded the events. No one figured the photos would become such an icon of American history. And the photo that became the icon was in fact taken during the second raising of the flag.

Once the soldiers were identified in the photo, three of them were returned to the U.S. and unknowingly were swept into the maelstrom of publicity created by the reaction to the photo. The soldiers, torn between the duty to serve their country and their modesty of the actual events, struggled to hold on to their rightful pride in what they had sacrificed to protect our freedom. Each time they were paraded about, the guilt of taking credit for what others had done wore them down. Eventually, the tragic hero of the story - Native American Ira Hayes - turned to the bottle and was pushed out the door by the same government whom he had fought so bravely to defend.

The “true” story of Iwo Jima resonates with the recent actions of the U.S. government. Still deeply involved in a war in which the facts have been manipulated to persuade the public, people today have grown tired of a government that uses deception and lies to drive its foreign policy. Once again, Clint’s adept skill at directing a compelling story and his straightforward style never gets in the way of the real-life drama that demonstrates that every iconic image of what defines America has a complicated story behind it.

Year of Eastwood #48

Clint TV

Rawhide (1959-1965)

Clint was a young buck running around Hollywood when he got his big break starring in the long-running TV western Rawhide. Clint was an unknown when he was cast as Rowdy Yates, the cocky sideman on a cattle drive from Texas to Missouri. Clint’s career has had a strong connection to music … his love of jazz, Morricone’s Spaghetti Western theme, and obviously Every Which Way but Loose - and Rawhide is still a familiar tune to many who have never even seen the show.

Clint was second banana on Rawhide. He usually was the one getting himself in trouble … in the two episodes I watched Clint got shot, got drunk, and got thrown in jail. The appeal of the show is that this group of misfits get themselves into as much trouble during the journey as the cattle. Most of the guys on the crew are unlikable trouble-makers and Clint squabbles with the leader most of the time.

The crew finally make their destination - Sedalia, Missouri (home of the Wheel Inn) only to find the buyers have all left because of a market crash. But thanks to some smooth talking by Clint, the cows get sold and the gang can head to town to get drunk and enjoy some goober burgers. The show continued its run for several years after they sold the cows, so I’m not sure what they did week after week - maybe they started a co-ed softball league.

Mr. Ed (1961)

I’m not sure exactly why Clint guest-starred on Mr. Ed, but considering he hasn’t made many television appearances in his career, it does seem like an odd choice. I’d bet there was some woman involved that Clint was chasing after.

Mr. Ed was a talking horse, of course. Clint plays himself and moves in next door to Mr. Ed and his longtime companion, Wilbur. Wilbur is an architect and he must be doing pretty well considering that he lives next door to a TV star. Mr. Ed isn’t too excited about Clint moving in next door cuz he’s got his eye on a philly - and Clint’s horse might just steal her away. Sounds crazy - but I have to admit that I did laugh once, when Mr. Ed called Clint a mule head.

A show about a talking horse probably wouldn’t last long in this day and age - although last year we did have the Caveman show. I haven’t really done much research on Mr. Ed. I’m not sure why he talks … was it a freak accident? But he sure is a surly bastard. My theory is that Mr. Ed doesn’t talk at all. Wilbur is apparently the only one who can hear Mr. Ed, so maybe the whole thing is in Wilbur’s head, allowing him to express his deep-seeded anger to the world around him, a la Fight Club.

Amazing Stories (1985)

In the 80’s, Spielberg was the man. He quickly became one of the biggest directors of all time with hits like Jaws, ET, and Raiders of the Lost Ark. So when it was announced that Spielberg was going to produce a TV show, the nation was giddy with anticipation. Sunday evenings would once again become a time for the family to gather around the TV to be thrilled, shocked, and awed. Surely, Amazing Stories would be a program that would run for decades, win every Emmy, and be remembered for generations as grandparents share stories of the premiere of Amazing Stories ... the show lasted for one year and hasn’t been mentioned again.

Spielberg envisioned Amazing Stories as a Twilight Zone for the new generation. Each week, a new story that would entertain and provide discussions around the watercooler all week. Spielberg lined up top notch actors and directors that would increase the scale of the television screen to blockbuster status. Clint signed on to direct an episode, Vanessa in the Garden, about an artist on the verge of international fame, when a tragic accident steals away his beautiful muse.

Distraught, the artist (Harvey Keitel) destroys his entire collection of work, vowing to never paint again. Until he discovers that painting his beautiful bride can magically bring her back to life. This was the 80’s, so of course the muse was played by Ms. Locke. She certainly has provided a lot of inspiration to this Year of Eastwood.

Year of Eastwood #47

Revenge of the Creature (1955)

Starring: the Creature of the Black Lagoon
Directed by Jack Arnold

Clint became a huge star with the release of the Spaghetti Westerns directed by Sergio Leone. Before that Clint followed the usual path of struggling the first few years, working as a fireman, and taking on bit roles in movies and television. Revenge of the Creature is listed as the first film in Clint’s bio - he’s uncredited as a lab assistant - and doesn’t even get to share any screen time with the Creature himself. In fact, his entire performance is included in this clip…



The personality is there. You can almost sense that Clint is resisting the urge to wink at the camera - letting us all know that someday he’ll be the only recognizable bit of this horrible B-movie. I didn’t bother to watch the original Creature from the Black Lagoon, but there doesn’t seem to be much that I missed out on. Creature swims around in murky water of the Amazon. Gets captured by some hunters and taken back to the US, where he is put on display at a Aquarium. Makes googly fish-eyes with a lady. Escapes from the park. Swims in some more murky water. Terrorizes some people. Gets shot. I’m not really even sure what the Creature’s motivation is as a movie monster. He doesn’t eat people. He just seems to be in a bad mood.

Clint was born on May 31, 1930 to Clinton and Margaret Eastwood - weighing in at a whopping 11 ½ lbs. His father was a steelworker who moved his family about frequently to find work. Clint finally settled in Oakland where he graduated high school. Clint attended Los Angeles College but dropped out. He worked various odd jobs and then joined the military. While on leave, his plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean and Clint had to swim 3 miles to shore (take that Chuck Norris). Clint missed out on any military action in Korea, because he was busy as a swim instructor in boot camp. While in the Army, some friends encouraged Clint to pursue acting as a career.

Clint survived a few bit parts in bad movies before his big break. He was a jet pilot in some other horror movie - Tarantula in 1955. And then a year later he seduces Carol Channing in the First Traveling Saleslady (thanks Netflix for denying the world the chance to see that masterpiece).

Clint was dropped by the studio when a bright exec decided that his adam’s apple was too big … I’m sure that guy went on to a successful career. Clint went back to some odd jobs until he was spotted one day by a network exec looking for a young actor for a new TV show, Rawhide … and then Clint was on his way.

Over the years, Clint has given many opportunities to up and coming talent in his own movies. Many of which have been pointed out in this Year of Eastwood … Laura Linney, Lucy Liu, Dennis Hopper, err, Sondra Locke. I’m sure he remembers what a struggle it was for him and how grateful he was to get a shot in the movies … having to share his screen time with a monkey of all things.

Davie's Chuckwagon Diner

Year of Eastwood #46

Breezy (1973)

Starring: William Holden, Kay Lenz
Directed by Eastwood

I can’t quite figure out if Clint likes the hippies or would like to kick em in their bell-bottom wearing behinds. He certainly got lots of mileage out them in the 70’s. Usually busting a bunch of hippie-dippies for smoking dope and maybe smacking a few around before hauling them off to the slammer in the Dirty Harry pics. After all, the hippies represented everything that was going wrong with the great ol’ US of A in the 60’s. What with their psychedelic trips, anti-establishment tirades, and free-loving attitudes … well, I guess Clint kinda liked that last one.

That’s why he directed this May/December romance with the moon glow title character and her braless devil-may-care ways. But man, a lot of that hippy stuff is hard to swallow. Hey, the theme song lyrics … I always keep my pockets filled with pumpkin seeds and time … is just about enough to hit the Eject button in the first couple of minutes.

But there’s something infectious about this movie, namely Breezy herself. What middle-aged man wouldn’t want some free spirit gal showing up at his door, offering nothing more than a few tunes on her guitar and a smile? Not William Holden, that’s for sure. He tries to scoff away Breezy at first with his button-up, three piece suit ways. But Breezy hasn’t been hitchin’ half way across the country just to give up that easy. Nope, nothing would please her more than some old man to completely squash her lifestyle into some suburban homemaker. Dude’s so old that he wears a cardigan to play tennis … every hippies dream come true, eh?

Holden got his break into the big time by playing the other end of the cougar spectrum by hooking up with Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard. That one ended up with him face-down in the pool, but Breezy’s not interested in anything that dramatic. She just wants a nice place to hang her poncho and maybe a nice apple every now and then. Later, Holden got mad as hell and wasn’t gonna take it anymore from those hippies in Network. But then he died … and they gave him an Oscar. Sound familiar?

Ok, back to the cougar thing. Aren’t we already sick of this whole phenomenon? Older, successful women hunting down young studs with no interest but a good workout. Clint’s been doing the reverse for years … but try to hook him up with a lady of a certain age, let’s say Geraldine Page, and he’d rather take a tumble down the stairs. So enough with the media frenzy, it’s nothing new … just look at Cher.

Breezy and Geezer take nice strolls on the beach. They go to see High Plains Drifter at the local Cineplex. Geezer starts lifting the medicine ball cuz he’s getting a bit saggy for such a young gal. That’s about the extent of the tension here … the old man can’t stand that the world just won’t accept his love for this flower child half his age. Damn you, world.

Lately, Clint’s directed a few movies in which he doesn’t appear, but early in his career it drove the movie companies bonkers that he wasn’t going to be in Breezy. They probably insisted that Clint at least put his picture on the poster. Clint was too young to play the lead, but he wanted to get that message out there … can’t we just be happy that these two star-crossed lovers found each other out there in this crazy world? Or at least until dementia sets in...

Living / Dining Room

Year of Eastwood #45

The Gauntlet (1977)

Starring: Eastwood, Sondra Locke
Directed by Eastwood

After the cluster of ho-hum crime dramas from the recent Clint films, it’s refreshing to break out of the funk with a tried and true action bust ‘em up from the vault of Clint‘s heyday. The year was 1977 … the country was just settling into the Jimmy Carter Presidency, Star Wars was breaking records at the box office, and the Laff Olympics were pitting the Scooby Doobies against the Yogi Yahooeys. And Clint was making movies with Sondra Locke.

Clint is a cop with attitude problems. Sondra is a wise-cracking witness to some mob crimes. Clint is a booze hound who has lost his way. Sondra is a high-price call girl with a heart of coal. And when they get together, the sparks fly. Nothing much new here, so we might as well shoot up as much stuff as we can. On three separate occasions, there’s enough gunfire for complete and total obliteration … be it a car or a bus or even a house. One time on Myth Busters, the dudes tried to debunk the belief that a machine gun could mow down a tree … let alone knock down an entire house.

Let’s see, what else? Hmm, Clint and Sandra fall in love - but I guess that’s to be expected. And the police chief that Clint trusted ends up double crossing him. Clint’s partner gets shot and killed. And the final climax, down the streets of Phoenix, pits Clint driving an armored bus against hundreds of Arizona cops lined up on the streets firing thousands of bullets at Clint (and each other?).

Clint’s career has basically come down to three successful phases: the Spaghetti Western (which led to many other successful westerns, culminating in Unforgiven), Dirty Harry (which led to a string of anti-hero cop-types, culminating in In the Line of Fire), and Play Misty for Me (which stretched Clint as a director in genres that were atypical of his usual style, culminating in Million $$$ Baby).

Of course, there’s been a multitude of ongoing Clint themes in this Year of Eastwood: the sneer, the young ladies, and Clint’s aversion to marriage. But the one element that can be found at the heart of almost every Clint film is redemption.

Clint’s characters are always flawed. His inability to follow authority. He drinks too much. He’s too old to change his ways. He’s just not a very good pig farmer. But during the course of the two hours that audiences sit in a darkened theatre being entertained with the ‘splosions and the orangutans - they are witness to Clint being transformed into a better person. Usually bloodied and beaten, but strong enough to prevail in the end.

Clint has never been the Tom Hanksy everyman or have the Jimmy Stewartish purity but he remains a likable spirit despite all of his downfalls … and in the end, crowds root for him to succeed. Clint has connected with the American public desire to be the good guy, the strong but silent type - who can be kicked down and dragged around, but can only stands it for so long … and then watch out when he comes out swinging.

So, even though he hooks up with Sondra in the end, Clint has regained his self respect after surviving the Gauntlet by proving everyone around him wrong who assumed he would be the weak link. And he did it to prove to himself that he could do it against all odds … plus it’s got a kick-ass poster (and I’m running out of clichés).

Year of Eastwood #44

True Crime (1999)

Starring: Eastwood

Directed by Eastwood

It’s hard to imagine that True Crime would break much new ground in the ongoing legacy that is the Eastwood canon. Clint is a washed up newspaper reporter, who’s nose for the truth has mislead him enough that usually he finds himself passed out drunk every night. But, wonder of all wonders, True Crime breaks new ground because the Clintster is a married man and even has a young daughter back home.

Not that it’s all marital bliss, Clint still chasing after the ladies - kissing on Mary McCormick before she does some driving under the influence and smashes her car on Dead Man’s Curve. And Clint’s banging Dennis Leary’s wife - who just happens to be his desk editor back at the Daily Planet ... So finally Clint has settled down but he don’t seem to be interested in spending much time with the old ball ‘n chain.

The (soon to be dead) Mary McCormick was assigned to interview a murderer on death row, but what with the aforementioned dirt nap, she couldn’t make her appointment so Clint has to fill in. But Clint’s nose starts tingling again and he soon has plans bigger than just the average human interest sidebar. Clint gets it into his head that this man is innocent but as editors in movies are apt to do, James Woods doesn’t want to hold up the deadline just cause Clint wants to save some guy’s life.

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Isaiah Washington - before he got himself into all sorts of trouble on Grey’s Anatomy - paces back and forth and acts all peaceful and stuff as the death row inmate. His young daughter colors him some pictures, he gets to snuggle a bit with his wife, and he enjoys a delicious final meal … all the while Clint is trying to solve the mystery of the dead girl at the convenience store. Whew, it’s hard to keep track of all the dead people in this movie.

Michael Jeter was the key witness, but it turns out he didn’t see much at all. There was another guy at the scene, but he’s dead and his grandma ain’t too interested in bringing back the bad memories. The gas chamber is all fired up and Clint decides to get drunk. But then a necklace blows the case wide open and Clint has to weave his way to the Governor’s mansion to stop the execution. So Clint saves the day, buys a stuffed hippo for his daughter, and asks Lucy Liu out on a date. Roll credits.

Obviously, Clint is able to spot young talent and established stars stand in line to appear in his latest picture. Despite being a huge star, he always makes room for other actor’s to have their moment. Clint learned early on in his Spaghetti Westerns that there is power in silence. He also knows that by allowing other actors to shine it means less lines for him to memorize.

Recently, Bill Murray talked about how much he's always admired Clint's style. Early on, Clint met with Bill just as his star was on the rise with movies like Meatballs and Stripes. Bill wanted to work with Clint because he knew he would get all the best lines. Clint suggested a few movies they could do together but none of them panned out … guess that's one cop buddy film that was never meant to be.

Year of Eastwood #43

Blood Work (2002)

Starring: Eastwood
Directed by Eastwood

Clint is in full old-man pants hiked up to the chest mode in Blood Work, a forgettable murder mystery from a few years ago which garnered attention from nearly no one when it was released. Clint seemed to settle into the old guy routine following Unforgiven, but that hasn’t stopped him from casting young ladies as his love interests. This time, the lady must be at least 30 years younger than Clint but that doesn’t stop her from jumping in bed with him even though he’s got her sister’s heart in his chest … oops, got ahead of myself there.

So Clint starts out the movie chasing down a serial killer thru the streets, probably jumping some rooftops and knocking over a few fruit stands … but when it comes time to scale the chain link gate that always seems to appear out of nowhere in these alleys - Clint’s ticker gives out. He crumbles to the ground and the killer gets away. A few months later, Clint’s got a replacement heart and he seems to be content doing chores around the pig farm.

But then little Miss Hottie Santa Maria Conchita de Marco shows up at his house boat and wants Clint to pay her back for her dead sister’s heart. I guess it’s pretty much a given that she was dead, seeing as though Clint’s got her heart. But not only is she dead, she was murdered. And now Clint feels like the least he can do is find the killer. Plus, he’s been craving some chili rellanos.

Now, it might seem logical that Clint could use some bed rest, what with the major surgery and all. Well not to worry, that’s what Angelica Huston is here for. As Clint’s doctor, she strongly recommends that Clint refrain from certain activities - like lifting boxes over 15 lbs or firing shotguns or taking asphalt dives to avoid speeding cars. But Clint isn’t going to let anything as frivolous as a rib separator stop him from getting the job done. Plus, he’s got the help of his buddy Big Lebowski to drive him around town like Miss Daisy.

The cops don’t want Clint’s help in solving the murder. In what may be the singular worst performance in this Year of Eastwood, Paul Rodriguez cracks some crappy one-liners and nearly gets into fisticuffs with Clint … the man just had a heart transplant and you’re gonna punch him? But Clint doesn’t need any help from the cops, he can find all the information he needs on the internets. Clint using a computer. Well, [Cntrl Alt Del // !!] . The old man is still wondering where his diet cola is after hitting the Tab button. (I got that joke from the Simpsons.)

Turns out, the sister was one of a string of random murders which is maybe not so random after all. The victims all have the same blood type as (gasp) Clint - and the murders were all planned to provide Clint with a viable donor heart. But who would do such a thing? How about the slacker staying in the house boat next to Clint? How about Angelica Huston who seems to have absolutely no other reason for being in this movie?

It’s a tough day when you have to take the car keys away from grandpa. But Clint was reaching an age where it might lead some to conclude that the master was losing his edge. Blood Work surely did nothing to convince these critics otherwise … but Clint was just about to regain his stride in the next few years with Mystic River and Million $$ Baby and I’m sure that new Angelina Jolie movie is finally gonna get some attention for that lady which she’s been lacking so much of lately.

Year of Eastwood #42

Absolute Power (1997)

Starring: Eastwood, Gene Hackman
Directed by Eastwood

It’s getting down to the wire here. Ten Clint masterpieces to go. Actually, it’s been a bit of a scramble to come up with the final entries in Year of Eastwood … a fact which will be transparently clear as the next few entries are posted. This will clear the way for the big bang at the end. For now we’ll have to do with a few leftovers and a chunk of Clint films in the late nineties that really struggle to distinguish themselves from one another. Thus it begins with Absolute Power.

Clint is a masterful cat-burglar. OK, so he somehow got caught once and spent some time in the joint which cost him his marriage and strained his relationship with his daughter. In an odd twist, Clint now has full-grown, adult children in the form of Laura Linney. But she won’t talk to him so he spends his time planning for his next big heist - a billionaire fat cat in the world of finance and politics. He studies the blueprints. He breaks down the security system. And he waits for the family’s annual trip to Disney World.

He’s in the house. He’s broken into the secret vault hidden away behind a two-way mirror in the bedroom. But suddenly and without warning, Mrs. Moneybags returns home, but she’s not alone. No, she’s skipped the family vacation to meet up with her lover. Seems like Mrs. Moneybags likes things rough in the bedroom. Clint can only sit by and watch things unfold thru the mirror. Then things get out of hand. Mrs. Moneybags grabs a letter opener from the nightstand and is just about to kill her lover … when Bang! The Secret Service rush in and shoot her in the head.

What?? Turns out the other man is none other than the President of the United States. Things get pretty silly from here … the President’s Chief of Staff (who for some reason is at the house with the President and his lover) decides to cover up the murder and stage the whole thing as a robbery gone bad. This eventually leads the police to Clint. He’s really in between a rock and a hard place this time, but Clint has a trick up his sleeve … or at least the letter opener with fingerprints and blood all over it.

The police (namely Ed Harris who’s got the hots for Clint’s daughter) convince Laura to set up a meeting with Clint so they can safely take him into custody. The Secret Service have a different plan as they send a guy (the Good Hands from Allstate guy) to shoot Clint with a high powered rifle. Just to add more suspense, Mr. Moneybags hires a guy to show up at the same meeting spot with his own high powered rifle. Clint high tails it outta there.

There’s lots of holes in this script and plenty of stuff that just don’t make a whole lotta sense. Besides the outrageous lengths to protect a slimy president. The film seems to jump back and forth between scenes where one moment people are trying to kill Clint to the next they just throw him some dirty looks. Gene Hackman is wasted in his role as the President. It’s a role that could have been played by any number of actors and Gene seems to do little to give it his own spin. I guess it really shows Clint’s pull in show business that he can get so many talent stars to appear in such a silly movie.

Year of Eastwood #41

Where Eagles Dare (1968)

Starring: Richard Burton, Eastwood
Directed by Brian Hutton

Now for a rarity in Eastwood’s career … a movie where Clint doesn’t receive top billing. Sir Richard Burton (from Englund) is the star of Where Eagles Dare. A WWII espionage thriller with so much double crossing going on that by the end of the film, everybody’s paranoid. Clint’s really along for the ride in this one - but on the plus side, he gets to kill more people than probably any other film he’s made.

An American General has been captured by the Germans, and a rag-tag team of commandos is instructed to sneak into the German headquarters and rescue the American. The prisoner is being held in a fortress high in the Alps, where eagles dare not perch (Shakespeare).

The team of 7 operatives parachutes down into the snowy Bavarian town. Among the team is the leader (Burton) and a marksman (Clint) ... A moment of silence for the guy who didn’t survive the jump from the plane. So the mission’s barely started and already we’re down to 6 operatives. The men hide out in a cabin, warm up with some hot Cocoa, and prepare to sneak into town bright and early the next day.

The team makes their way into town, disguised as German soldiers (Clint‘s got a nice tan for a German). Since it’s Germany, the guys end up in a Bierhaus. Burton gets drunk, makes out with a couple of women, and another operative gets killed … silence … now we’re down to 5. That’s a more comfortable number to deal with anyways. It’s hard to keep track of all those people when the only recognizable ones are Burton and Clint.

Up on the mountaintop (via a long cable car ride) - all the usual Germans are assembled … the Nazis, Gestapo, and Secret Service. Burton and Clint ditch the cable car and decide a real man would climb up the side of the castle instead of taking the stairs. If you find it hard to believe that a group of soldiers could sneak their way inside Nazi Germany … wait till you see Boozer McTipsy rock climb that sucker.

But wait a second, turns out the prisoner is just an actor pretending to be the American general. And the whole mission is a double cross to rat out some British spies. Burton convinces those Germans that he’s the spy - but it turns out those other 3 guys on the team are actually the traitors.

Then all hell breaks lose. Clint blows up a lot of stuff, kills more Germans than you can shake a stick at … and they make their way back to the cable car. A couple of the spies battle Burton atop the cable car. Good thing he was drunk or he probably would have been a little scared, but he jumps across to the passing-by car and the bad guys go boom.

After all this, the guys still need to make their way out of Germany. Good thing one of the women Burton was making out with arranges them a ride. But those pesky Germans are still in pursuit. I’ve seen enough Clint movies by now that the best way to escape is blow up that damn bridge - so they make it to the airstrip, crash into a few planes, and are rescued by the British army. Clint could use a good night’s rest after this one…

Year of Eastwood #40

the Beguiled (1971)

Starring: Eastwood, Geraldine Page
Directed by Don Siegel

Early in his career, Clint developed his own production company - the Malpaso Company - to allow him to have more creative control of the movies he starred in. Malpaso, which is named for a creek located near Clint’s home in Carmel California, has been associated with most of Clint’s films since it’s inception with Hang ‘Em High. Malpaso is also Spanish for misstep which Clint felt would be an appropriate name for his company since he was warned that starring in Spaghetti Westerns would be a bad move in his career.

Clint also produced a few films thru United Artists which allowed many of Hollywood’s biggest stars - including Paul Newman, Barbra Streisand, and Woody Allen - to have more control ... and also to reap more of the financial benefits of the blockbusters they worked on instead of most of the money going to the studios which had been the case during Hollywood’s golden years in the 1930s and 40s. Recently, when Tom Cruise (couch-jumper) was released from his contract with Paramount, he resurrected United Artists with the hopes of saving his own career as well.

With this creative freedom to produce the films he wanted to do, I’m sure Clint did back flips when he saw the script for Beguiled. The story begins as Clint, an injured Union soldier, is rescued by a Southern girl and taken back to the plantation which just happens to be filled with young, nubile hotties being taught all the etiquette and manners of being a fine, upstanding Southern lady. The school is operated by a strict matron played by Geraldine Page, who via flashbacks seems to spend a bit too much time rolling around in the grass with her brother. The girls, who haven’t seen a man in several years, are willing to put aside the fact that Clint plays for the other team and begin scheming against one another for the chance to jump around on Clint’s bed.

Geraldine has ideas of her own for Clint. As she nurses him back to health, she begins to weave her own web to catch herself a man to help her with the farming since her beloved brother probably won’t be coming home any time soon. Clint pulls some story out of his ass about being a Quaker medic in the Army, while we see scenes of him shooting men in the back and doing his best to burn down as much of the South as he can. He tells Geraldine he would like to plow her fields. He tells one of the lonely, young school teacher that he loves her. And he tells a busty young student to practice her stretching exercises.

Every one seems blissful with all the deception, until the night Clint must decide which lady’s room to make a special visit to: the old, cranky brother-lover, the marmy book worm, or the PYT. Clint, of course, chooses the hot thing and the school teacher pushes him down the stairs and Geraldine cuts off his … leg. Now Clint is pissed, but there ain’t much he can do because, you know, he ain’t got no leg. So he drinks too much wine, gets mouthy at the dinner table and ends up throwing the little girl’s pet turtle across the room. That crosses the line and for dinner the little girl feeds Clint some poison mushrooms and next stop for Clint is the big dirt nap.

It really is a rarity for Clint to end up dead at the end of any of his movies. Since I already ruined that Spoiler, I might as well say that Honkytonk Man is the only other Clint movie where he ends up dead. Beguiled is unique among Clint movies in other ways as well. Clint is hobbled for most of the movie so it’s easily got the least amount of action of any of his films, but he still manages to beat the crap out of a couple of guys with his crutches. The film relies more on the complex mind games and lies … and Clint considers it one of his best films.

Year of Eastwood #39

Tightrope (1984)

Starring: Eastwood
Directed by Richard Tuggle

Lookout, Clint’s a cop on the edge! By day, he’s a caring single father but at night he’s some kind of pervert trolling the dirty streets of N’Orleans looking for cheap hookers. Ok, I don’t know for sure that they’re hookers - because I’m sure Clint has never had to pay for it.

But the fine line (some might say a tightrope) between work and pleasure is blurred when Clint gets assigned to a new case tracking down a serial killer. It seems Clint and this mysterious killer in Sketchers (along with the ominous music) must be hanging out at the same clubs. Crime scene after crime scene, Clint shows up only to find that the dead woman is someone he had only just recently schupted. Is it just a coincidence or (gasp) is Clint the killer?

In the 70’s, Clint was the swinging bachelor. Dirty Harry had the women lining up outside his door. He’d use them up and then toss them aside - but these women knew there was no taming the Clintster. But in the 80’s, attitudes about sex changed and now someone with Clint’s pattern of behavior is perceived as some kind of deprived sicko. Sure he likes to watch naked women wrestle in a tub of oil. And the anonymous sex. And maybe every now and then he likes to use those handcuffs for non-official business. It seems like pretty tame stuff but everyone knows that handcuffs are just a gateway drug…

We know pretty early on that Clint couldn’t be the killer … because, hey, it’s Clint we’re talking about here (plus they show the guy’s face). But like so many of these serial killers in movies, the real killer enjoys the cat and mouse game and begins to torment Clint. He tries to kill Clint’s new girlfriend - but he gets away. He tortures Clint’s two daughters - but he gets away. Finally, Clint chases him down in some funky warehouse full of Mardi Gras floats.

A lot of thought goes into the location of the final showdown. In some of Clint’s previous films, we’ve seen deserted Carnivals, airports, and water treatment plants. It must be tough coming up with a new and original location. Let’s see … how about a tractor pull or a Wiggles concert?

I don’t know who this director guy Richard Tuggle is, but this movie feels like a Clint-directed film. The pace of the film, the use of jazz music, the pan shot of the city as the credits roll. Feels like this Tuggle might just be made up.

Tightrope offers a side of Clint that we hadn’t seen in too many of his cop films. His character is flawed. Lonely, drinking himself silly each night, and banging chicks he doesn’t even know. Again, behavior that might not be that far removed from Dirty Harry, but in the 80’s the euphoria of free love had worn off - and thanks to the likes of Jimmy Swaggart and Senate pages, sex was kinda sleazy.

Clint received a lot of Oscar buzz for his performance, but when the nominations were announced, Clint’s name wasn’t on the list for Best Actor. But Tightrope did signify a turning point in Clint’s career, where his films would be begin to receive critical notice for their accomplishments.

Year of Eastwood #38

The Rookie (1990)

Starring: Eastwood, Charlie Sheen
Directed by Eastwood

Clint’s been getting a lot of press again lately involving internet reports that there’s going to be another Dirty Harry movie. People, let’s put this one to rest. I’ve already discussed the recent stars-of-a-certain-age returning to their previous glory (this just in … Eddie Murphy’s going to make another Beverly Hills Cop movie). But what gets lost in all the speculation is that many of these franchises had been played out years ago. Even the final two Dirty Harry movies weren’t exactly classics. At least Clint has the sense to say he has no interest in making another sequel.

Anyways, there’s lots of other Clint cop movies out there that the public has completely ignored. Take, for example, The Rookie - which is probably one of the crappiest and biggest flops that Clint has ever been involved in. Clint is a cantankerous cop who plays by his own rules. It doesn't really matter his character's name, but it might as well have been Harry Callahan.

Clint’s hunting down car smugglers. Raul Julia is the kingpin who really needs a big payday to pay off some debts of his own - and if he doesn’t get that money soon, he’s going to be in all sorts of trouble. So they load up a semi with all sorts of expensive, foreign cars. Clint and his partner show up for the bust. His partner gets shot - but Clint must have read the title on the script and knew he was getting a new partner anyways, so he chases after the bad guys.

The thieves are now trucking down the expressway. Instead of trying to be the least bit inconspicuous - they’re banging up cars right and left - and when Clint gets too close driving his Oldsmobile, they decide the best way to get away is to drop their cargo (the same thing is what got Han Solo in so much trouble with Jabba the Hut). So $100 grand cars are being dropped all over the interstate and Clint’s weaving and dodging, but there’s always some wise guy in a Winnebago who flips that sucker over and then there’s all sorts of chaos. And the perps get away.

Back at the precinct, Clint gets pulled from the case and teamed up with a new partner fresh out of the academy. Clint never seems to be happy with his new partners - but if he wasn’t always getting them killed, maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with that problem. Charlie seems to have the skills, but in addition to his addiction to hookers and coke, he’s always having dreams about his dead brother and waking up in a cold sweat. And talk about covered in sweat … it must have been worse than going thru withdrawals and being married to Denise Richards all rolled up into one.

Meanwhile … Raul is in a lot of hot water and still needs that money. He and his pleasant girlfriend, Sonia Braga (who has like 2 lines in the whole movie), decide to kidnap Clint and hold him for ransom. Then there’s lots of scenes thrown together involving dog fights, donut jokes, and bar fights. Oh yea, and Charlie’s girlfriend (played by a young Lara Flynn Boyle before she put on all that weight) almost gets killed until Charlie busts his motorcycle thru the house to save her. Then they fight, they laugh, and Charlie heads out to save Clint.

Some other stuff happens - let’s say somehow Charlie saves Clint and then they chase down the bad guys in an airport … I’m sure some innocent people got killed … and the two get chased on foot by a jet. Clint catches up with the bad guy, beats him up, and then shoots him in the head - I’m sure he got a medal for it. So, there’s your Dirty Harry sequel folks…

the Cure at Red Rocks

If I had to make a list of my favorite bands that I hadn't seen in concert - the Cure would be at the top of that list. Well, finally I had a chance to see the Cure at Red Rocks on May 20th. It was an awesome show, 5th row seats, and the band played for nearly 3 hours.

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I have a theory that any of the Cure's peppy songs are perfect for the Peanuts dance ... here's a video I put together: Why Can't I Be You?

Year of Eastwood #37

Space Cowboys (2000)

Starring: Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones,
Donald Sutherland, James Garner
Directed by Eastwood

30 years down the road from Kelly’s Heroes, Clint and Sutherland team up again in Space Cowboys. This time Clint’s a crotchety old man and Sutherland is an aging lothario who re-team with their old comrades, Jones and Garner, to make a flight into space that they were denied back in the beginning days of the space program. I’m sure the idea for this film took off with the real-life adventures of old man in space, John Glenn, who was propped up for a space flight back in 1998 at the ripe age of 77.

Space Cowboys - not to be confused with Spaced Invaders (a 1990 zany comedy about stoned ET’s coming to Earth: wackiness ensues) - begins with a flashback of the young guns, breaking the sound barrier in their jets, only to be passed over for the first American space flights by some monkey … Clyde’s revenge? Years later, the men are now AARP members but still searching for their lost thrill - be it crop dusting, testing roller coasters, or installing garage door openers.

Turns out there’s an old Russian satellite about to crash to Earth and the only guys familiar with the navigation system on the old clunker are these old clunkers, so it’s time for a reunion in outer space. The old men are put thru the rigors and tumbles of the space training program. They also have time to get into some bar fights and chase much younger women.

Space Cowboys is pure movie entertainment. Don’t spend too much time trying to figure out the logistics of the plot - or the plausibility of these old men running 20 miles - because this movie is here for a few laughs, some exciting action, and a whacked-out “Armageddon” style finale. And Clint’s in the director’s chair to make sure everything moves along at a good pace.

Sutherland and Garner are along for the ride as comic relief - I’m not really even sure what their job on the space mission is really. And it’s a little odd to have Jones as the heart-throb heroic role, but Tommy Lee’s entertaining in most things he does. The internet (which never lies) says that originally Jack Nicholson and Sean Connery were considered for roles in Space Cowboys - which would have been an epic teaming, but it’s hard to imagine all those egos would have fit into the cockpit.

Clint is the steady force of the group … a steady, old, cranky, grumpy force. Most of Clint’s roles in the last 20 years of his career involve him griping and complaining most of his lines. Which I guess if you think about it, most old men in movies are cranky (except maybe Hal Holbrook in Into the Wild). Although his roles in younger days weren’t exactly a barrel of monkeys either … so he usually leaves that up to the Donalds and the Burts and the actual monkeys.

House Project #2

Funky Kitchen

Year of Eastwood #36

Kelly's Heroes (1970)

Starring: Eastwood, Telly Savalas,
Don Rickles, Donald Sutherland
Directed by Brian Hutton

And now for something completely different. The last few Eastwood flicks have been a big load of downers … Costner gets shot, Bird likes the smack, Clint has the TB. So, it’s time for a little escapism - classic Hollywood style. Feels like Year of Eastwood could use some ‘splosions and hi-jinks … time for some Kelly’s Heroes.

I imagine Clint decided he needed a bit of fun as well. He was making several movies a year and, as has been discussed, most of those westerns involved Clint getting some variation of horse-collared before he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and kicked some ass. Clint just kinda glides thru Kelly’s Heroes as the instigator of a scheme to steal a bunch of inanimate gold bars from the re-treating German army near the close of WWII.

But he can’t do it alone. So who better to join him than a bunch of TV stars that probably worked really cheap. Kojak yells a lot and Archie Bunker plays a bumbling General. I’m not sure if Don Rickles was a TV star … actually not sure why he’s famous at all … but he’s along for the ride as the wise-cracking company clerk. After all, Clint was a TV star his own self, so I’m sure he was helpful in getting these guys their big break into the movies.

Kelly’s plot is pretty flimsy, but that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to have some fun. There’s lots of things blowing up and Nazi slapstick (hey, the Nazi’s are always reliable for a good laugh). And what the heck, might as well throw in Sutherland as the original Hippie. Or, at least, I assume he’s the original hippie, because I don’t know how many long-haired, pot-heads there were driving Sherman tanks around in the 1940’s - but in this movie, anything's possible.

Actually, watching Kelly’s Heroes now, the film kinda suffers from what I’ll call the Saving Private Ryan effect. When Speilberg made that film, he created such an effective sense of what WWII was probably like that watching any war films now, it’s difficult not to think of the intensity of those opening scenes storming Omaha beach.

Clint tries to keep his heist quiet. But when tons of gold is involved, it’s hard to keep it a secret. So by the final scenes, the film becomes a Mad, Mad World dash to the treasure. In the end, the “good” guys get in, take the gold, and - I’m sure - found some way to smuggle all that gold out in their duffle bags.

Year of Eastwood #35

Honkytonk Man (1982)

Starring: Eastwood, Kyle Eastwood
Directed by Eastwood

Clint reached a point in his career in the 80’s that he could get just about any movie made that he wanted. It didn’t matter if there wasn’t much of a script with Clint involved it was going to make some money.

Case in point, Honkytonk Man. I imagine the pitch went something like … a down and out Country singer gets his shot at the Opry - and some stuff happens - and then, why not, he gets real sick in the end. Oh yea, and Clint is going to sing in the movie. And just further his point, Clint puts his own son in the movie.

Honkytonk Man opens up in some dust bowl and it’s feeling like a twister moving in. Clint makes his big entrance as he crashes his fancy car thru the family farm. Not sure if he’s sick or really drunk or both. After moping around for a few days, Clint’s sister decides the only smart thing to do is let her young son go along with Clint to the Opry, just to make sure he gets there safe. And might as well let grandpa go along as well, you know, just for kicks.

It’s a dirt road trip! Shenanigans ensue as the guys travel from town to town - drinking, smoking, and playing in juke joints. Grandpa isn’t quite as much fun as everybody thought he’d be - so let's get rid of him. Enter a loopy young gal who’s got her eyes set on Clint and a career in Nashville … but Clint ain’t interested and the gal can’t sing. Clint helps get the young boy laid … a fact that I’m sure has followed Clint’s son around his whole life. Every now and then Clint coughs up a fit.

Now, a general rule is that I try not to criticize young actors, because I’m sure the whole experience of making a movie is pretty overwhelming … so I’ll just say that Kyle’s acting coach on the set of Honkytonk Man was none other than Sondra Locke.

Clint, on the other hand, is a grown man - so I’m sure he can take some criticism. Don’t make a movie about an undiscovered musical talent when the man can’t sing. Clint sort of whisper-sings (see Paint Yer Wagon) and we’re supposed to believe that audiences are captivated by his every note. Plus, Clint surrounds himself with some of the greats of C&W, but ... hey, let’s let Ringo sing the songs.

Clint finally makes it to his Opry audition. Of course, the room is a hush as the Opry hasn’t seen a talent like this in a long time, but Clint gets sick. Some fancy record producer hears the audition and wants to make some Clint records because the people need to hear this music.

The whole movie feels like they were just winging it. Just roll film, Clint will come up with something. So this guy drives this pickup and he’s got an ornery orangutan with him. Or he has to sneak into Russia to steal a jet that shoots mind missiles. OK people, it’s a wrap … print it.

Year of Eastwood #34

Bird (1988)

Starring: Forest Whitaker

Directed by Eastwood

Clint likes the jazz. Composer, aficionado, musician. So it’s only natural that he would tackle the genre in a bio pic. Loosely-based biographies of musicians have always done well … Coal Miner’s Daughter, Ray, Walk the Line … all have gone on to Oscar glory. So which jazz legend should Clint’s movie be about? Maybe Dizzy. Maybe Coltrane. But Clint had once seen Charlie Parker perform in 1945 so he decided to focus on Parker. A sax player better know as the Yardbird.

The Bird likes the smack. Which really shouldn’t be much of a surprise since most of these bio pics include some addiction that the star must battle as they rise in popularity. The Bird only reached a certain amount of fame while he was living, but he sure did like the crank. It didn’t do much good for his liver condition - but that’s what the blues is all about. He also has to overcome the death of his young daughter. Which he should have thought about when he was shooting up the junk. Eventually, he gives up the stuff - instead just drinking perfectly-legal alcohol … but by then his liver had had enough. But the dude sure liked the H. (I really don’t know what I’m talking about anymore … I had to look up some slang on the internets.)

Forest Whitaker portrays the Bird with his usual oafish charm which adds to the sense that Parker had all the talent to be a superstar, but was maybe lacking the charisma to be as successful as some of his contemporaries. Like a fine artist, Bird’s music has come to be more appreciated after his death. The film follows Bird’s career as he plays jazz clubs during a time when the style of music was considered scandalous.

The film opens with Bird jamming to a little ditty called Lester Leaps In. Which was the topic of an interpretation for my first studio in Architecture. I must have listened to that clip of music a hundred times, trying to pull some kind of form out of the composition. I’m not sure that I would actually recognize any other jazz music, so it was great to be able to re-visit those memories.
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I figure sooner or later there will be a bio-pic for just about every celebrity out there. It’s a lot easier to watch a movie to learn about somebody than having to look it up on Wikipedia. Still, I’m not really looking forward to watching the Bobcat Goldthwait story.

Clint directs Bird with a reverence for the music and artist that comes across in the film. Throwing in a few artsy-fartsy touches like the shot of a flying cymbol crashing to the ground. Not really sure why it was a cymbol … guess a saxamophone would have made more of a clunking sound.

House Project #1

Re-buffed, Re-sanded and Re-jected

Well, first up for the many tasks I hope to accomplish with the new house was to refinish the wood floors in the two bedrooms, living/dining area, and the kitchen. I did my share of research on the subject, got some insightful advice from many, and decided I was pretty confident this was something I could accomplish.

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Some before pics ...

Everyone I spoke to that has refinished their floors said they did it once ... wouldn't ever do it again ... but they did get it done, once. Well, I learned my lesson...

First up, I rented an oscillating sander that was supposed to be more user friendly than it's bigger brother the belt sander. If you ever find yourself in a place where you might want to refinish your own floors, I can tell you ... go with the belt sander. I must have gone over that living/dining area 8-10 times and still didn't seem to get all of the old finish off.

I was warned not to leave that sander stationary or it would gouge a groove right into the floor. I tell you, I could have left that sander running, gone out for an iced cream, and come back and that thing would still be sitting there shaking in the same spot.

Next up was the edges and corners with the handheld sander. Not much to say about that thing except the whole thing is a misnomer.

The cleaning/staining went much better and I was encouraged with the progress at the end of many hard days work - that everything might turn out pretty good.

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Sorry about the spots. I think my camera was still dusty from the sanding ...

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I waited the appropriate drying time and set to apply the water-based polyurethine finish. That was somewhat tricky to make sure to overlap the finish and apply all areas evenly. The next day, I was disappointed to see that the impressive stain had lightened quite a bit and all the flaws that concerned me were there plain as day. I followed thru and applied the other coats, but the end product just hasn't turned out as I hoped.

Well, after the big move, I was so disappointed with the floors that I decided to try lightly sanding once more and applying one more coat of the finish. I was pleased with the results, as this coat seemed to go on much more smoothly and after it dried, I would say the end result was 90% better than before. Moms seem to have all the answers and mine suggested that maybe I was applying the finish when it was too cold outside. I think she was right. Well, I am relieved.

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Year of Eastwood #33

a Perfect World (1993)

Starring: Kevin Costner, Eastwood
Directed by Eastwood

Have you visited the Ebert and Roeper website? They have catalogued movie reviews for the last 20 years, and for movie geeks (like myself) it is a gold mine of cinematic fodder. It is really interesting to watch reviews of films and compare the duo’s initial reaction to the longevity of certain films. I’ve spent more than a few moments revisiting reviews of Clint’s films and am surprised at times by their reactions. For one thing, both Siskel and Ebert gave Unforgiven thumbs-down. Pretty shocking. They generally like all of the Dirty Harry sequels and another one of their favorites was a Perfect World, a film that bombed at the box office in the early 90’s.



Perfect World was Clint’s follow-up to his Oscar-winning Unforgiven. Clint teamed up with, arguably, the biggest movie star in the world - Kevin Costner. Costner had starred in blockbusters like The Untouchables and Field of Dreams - and he had even collected his own windfall of Academy Awards with Dances with Wolves. Clint seemed to have caught Kevin at the perfect time … it was still a few years until Waterworld and The Postman pretty much sank Costner for good. Reportedly, Clint only intended to direct the film, but Costner would only sign on if Clint agreed to act in the film as well.

Perfect World re-visits the Alcatraz escape, but this time it’s Kevin busting out of the slammer. Just so we know that Kevin is really a good guy, he escapes with a lunk-head who likes to beat up and/or grope everyone he comes across on the outside. These said wandering hands get the duo cornered as lunk-head has lustful intentions on a young mother - and the guys have to take a little boy hostage in order to make their getaway. Turns out the kid is a Jehovah’s Witness and has been denied all the usual childhood pleasures, such as cotton candy, cuss words, and Casper the Friendly Ghost costumes. What’s up with those JW’s? Both Prince and Michael Jackson have become devout followers … and look where they are now. To get the lunk-head out of the way, Kevin puts a bullet in his head after he gets a little too grabby with the boy.

Enter Clint, Texas Ranger, hot on the trail of the escaped convicts. Clint is mostly there for comic relief as he rambles around in a decked-out airstream trailer. Laura Dern is along for the ride as the by-the-book criminologist. They trade barbs as Dern questions Clint’s tactics in tracking down the escaped convicts. Clint’s in his serious, man-hunting mode and he ain’t got time for this chick and her fancy talking. I’m sure if they hadn’t crashed the trailer, Clint and her would have been making out in no time. Hey, that’s just the way the Clintster operates.

Clint has had his share of blockbusters, and also quite a few clunkers as well. There’s also a side category of Clint films that despite their poor reception have gone on to garner a cult following: Eiger Sanction and Paint Yer Wagon (to name a couple). Perfect World somewhat falls into that category because quite a few people praise the film as an under-rated gem (including Mr. Siskel and Mr. Ebert). Actually, the film doesn’t hold up too well in the canon of Clint’s best. The bond between the boy and Costner just doesn’t connect and there just isn’t enough development in the story to really be concerned about the final scenes of the film. It really isn’t surprising that the public’s reaction to Perfect World was a collective meh at the time, we had other things on our minds … like Prince changing his name to a symbol and all that concern if Michael Jackson would ever find the right woman.

Year of Eastwood #32

Mystic River (2003)

Starring: Sean Penn, Tim Robbins

Directed by Eastwood

Mystic River was supposed to be Clint’s return to Oscar glory. The intense, multi-layered drama had an all-star cast and Clint firing on all cylinders with a script about the mystery surrounding the murder of a young woman in middle-class Boston. Mystic River received multiple nominations (including Best Picture and Best Director) but when awards season rolled around, Clint ran into the buzz saw that was Lord of the Rings and the film walked away with only a couple of awards.

Sean Penn, the Kevin Bacon, and Tim Robbins were childhood buddies, playing street ball and other concrete-related activities. One day when one of the boys was abducted for a few days, the innocence of youth is lost and repercussions are still felt years later. As adults, Sean has (somewhat) put his thug past behind him and Kevin joined the force. Tim just kinda mopes around all day. Then one fateful evening, Sean’s teenage daughter disappears and the three friends are pulled back together once again.

Sean grieves and regresses back into his old ways. Kevin interviews suspects and talks to his estranged wife on his cell phone. Tim kinda mopes around all day. Old wounds are opened up again, secrets are revealed, and stories begin to unravel. Heavy stuff that don’t really make for an enjoyable film, but one that is certainly deserving of all the praise it received.

The truly disturbing performance in the film is from Marcia Gay Harden. As the wife of Tim, she becomes suspicious of her husband’s story about being bloodied and mugged on the night of the murder. As Tim struggles with his own demons, her eventual betrayal ends Tim up on the short end of a beat down at the docks. Sean has lost the only pure love he has known in his life, has killed the wrong man, and ends up the new kingpin on the block. Kevin gives him a good stare down though.

Clint has developed into a real actor’s director. In recent years, he has won Oscars for Gene Hackman, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman; and nominations for Meryl Streep, Marcia Gay Harden, and a couple for himself. This film won a Best Actor award for Sean and Supporting Actor for Tim. Now, Sean does a fine job and career-wise is probably deserving of an Oscar or two. But this particular year, Bill Murray gave a subtle performance in Lost in Translation that deserved recognition. Bill got robbed, and my enthusiasm for the Academy Awards has never been the same since.

Drake Bulldogs

It’s a monumental year for Drake Basketball. The Men’s Basketball team, which has not had a winning season in 20 years, has turned it all the way around in 2008. The Bulldogs have won the Missouri Valley Conference title for the first time since 1971, after winning 20 straight games and taking a commanding lead in the standings. The team has beaten every other major school in the state of Iowa and has been rewarded by being ranked in the Top 25 for the first time in 30 years. Drake finally seems destined to make it to the NCAA Tournament for the first time that I can remember (although, Drake did make it to the Final Four in 1969 … losing to eventual champ UCLA (with future Kareem). The team has struggled a bit down the stretch but did beat the #8 team on the road on Saturday - Drake’s first win over a Top 10 team since 1982. Next up, the conference tourney, then on to the NCAA’s … go Duckheads!

Year of Eastwood #31

Midnight in the Garden
of Good and Evil (1997)

Starring: Kevin Spacey, John Cusack
Directed by Eastwood

Midnight jumps right into the action as we are introduced to the high society of the deep south. Lavish parties, drunken gentlemen, shrimp etouffee, and painted up hussies - this joints going to be rockin' well past midnight ... or at least until somebody throws up in the driveway.

Cusack is a failed novelist visiting Savannah, Georgia to write a magazine piece about the high falootin’ party scene attended by upper crust of the old crusties. The leader of these shaky-doo’s is Spacey, a fancy lad who has a strange relationship with a trashy hustler played by Jude Law. Law has made his rounds pleasing all the guys and gals of the South and he and Spacey argue quite a bit and Law ruffles up his doilies in a huff. Like so many of his movies - Jude ends up dead and Spacey has to stand trial for his murder.

Meanwhile, Cusack runs around Dixie enjoying the nightlife … kicking back at piano bars drinking Mint Juleps and carousing around graveyards with an old high priestess who likes to throw around chicken’s feet and profusing wisdoms like “yes um, the spirits is angries.” There’s never a bad time for a love interest and this one feels really tacked on as Clint’s daughter Allison shows up for a few scenes just to flaunt around town with Cusack … uhh, I’m having a Sondra flashback.

Just for fun, there’s a transsexual, Lady Chablis - who wisecracks with Cusack, vamps it up at a Cotillion and then because it’s narratively convenient … has to provide wisecracking testimony at the murder trial. But it’s not really clear what she’s adding to the trial and her scene doesn’t really break the case wide open. So the trial continues on and Spacey lies about the events of that fateful night - Cusack finds out the truth and is surprisingly horrified by all the going ons - until the jury, lead by Clint-staple Geofferey Lewis who likes to keep horseflies on leashes, reaches their verdict.

Oh wait, then Spacey has a heart attack and Cusack and Allison go to the park to enjoy a picnic of Lady Chablis’ special chicken. Feels like Clint had quite a bit of material to squeeze into 2 ½ hours and he wanted to remain true to the material. The novel was a best seller and I’m sure the whole Lady Chablis angle made for some interest reading but by the late 90’s the nation had been Crying Gamed out and the reaction to this film was a big collective yawn.

Midnight is actually quite a misstep in Clint’s career. I’m not actually sure what drew Clint toward this story, but it doesn’t really feed into his strengths as a director and story-teller. Clint is a born and raised California golden boy - Midnight takes place in the deep South, rich in tradition … and apparently voodoo and transsexuals. None of this really equals a connection with the material. His straight-forward approach which has worked so effectively in other projects just kind of falls flat with this courtroom drama.

Oh yea, Clint doesn’t even appear in Midnight, unless he’s a gargoyle or something.